Cheers.

I'm Jehanne Janey Jane. Birthday on 3rd November 1988 and still a childult, a term invented for the only me.
I'm a scorpio and i do really bite, but not in front of you of course.
My emotions are poorly controlled, but not being bipolar to that extend, it will plunges down to its lowest and it gets real hard to be on the top.
Honestly, i may look happy but deep down, there bound to be things troubling me.

My family consists of my mother, elder brother and me. Yes no big man around and i'm actually glad that he disappeared. However, that seems to mark my character in some ways.
Anyway my brother do act like my big man sometimes, cos he's 8yrs older than me!
Not to forget, i have my 'ANG' family which consists of 20+ people and it's still growing in numbers. They are my soul support.

I graduated with Dip. in Nursing and so you can guess my job now. Currently working in one of the ward at TTSH. Like what other adults said, the employers are always the meanies.
I'm really unlucky to have 3 unreasonable managers above me, crap but my colleagues are a wonderful batch. This made me stayed on.
I love this job seriously, crapping with my uncles, providing care to the frail, discuss problems with colleagues and lots more.
I actually desired to become a Pharmacist but blamed on myself, I never studied real hard.
Fret not, i found the route where I want to retire at. HAHA

I have friends whom i knew for freaking 8yrs+ and also as short as like 2yrs+.
Nobody can replace people in SGS gang, we grew up together from being a student to now, working in the society.
My NYP classmates whom we worked together to help each other to graduate, my attachment mates who helped me to run away from lecturers.
My NYP Judo people whom stood with me whenever i fell.
Then, Dearies & co which started during working days, and mind you, all of us actually knew each other since poly days. We build a very strong friendship amazingly and i love them manymany.
How can I not mention about my TTSH colleagues, consists of different batches. They gave me advice when i met with real bad problems.

I love to visit museum but my friends think i'm a weirdo. my wish is to visit all the museum in Europe. It's real fun to know about history and other stuffs. I learned a lot during each visits.

I love travelling with friends and i'm really easy going when it comes to deciding which places to go. As long as I'm able to buy sourvenirs back. HEH

I love blue, red, black, green, brown and grey.

I love tweety, thomas the train, good luck carebear and conan.

I love chicken wings to the max, and pepper on almost all my food, and so the 'pepperqueen' is invented!

I love square, hexagon and other funny shapes.

I love winter the most, and snowflakes is my adore.

I love hanging out with friends, or just stay at home and watch my online drama.

I love surprises!

So this is my life, read my blog, FB and twitter for more.
=)





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updates. at 2:25 PM

well..

i think i'm alright already.
pouring all my emotions and crying do really helps.
Thanks. =)

however i cannot promise that thought will not come back again.
like it always does, without me even knowing it.

btw night's over.
got weekends off.

Friday with colleagues at Sakae as VIP. heh
Saturday with Hazel and Xinyi at Kitty Lab and IT fair. damn cute kitty everywhere.
then chilling and clubbing at Double O with Wanshi, Xinyi and Ivy.
today? prolly kbox with Xinyi and Hazel.

anyway schedule's up.

alrights..


secret at 10:49 AM

too many people know about it.
so it's not a secret anymore.
i shall keep mum from now on.
and plan a perfect plan.

right now, on the verge.


=) at 9:36 PM

这次我走开 再没有话要说出来
我不想再期待走下去 还能多精彩
我不了解你 怎能心安也抓不住你的倔强
可是我知道你 你为什么说谎

你说你还在 一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里 可是这一切已太晚
我不能再像从前一样 为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释 你为什么说谎

你不能说 我没有爱过 说我没 等过 难过
我也想说 也许能重来 我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失爱

而我的泪怎么就流下来


happy pills. at 5:31 PM








i hate janey. at 7:14 PM

i hate the soft-hearted me.
i hate the indecisive me.
i hate the easily-frustated me.
i hate the whining me.
i hate the lazy me.







basically, i hate everything about myself.
i hate being Janey.







so friends, tell me the point of continuing.
because i'm really lost now.




but i have one good point,
i know how to hide my emotions and face my friends and 'ANG' family.




too much emo posts can bore people, i know.
i'm also waiting for a happy one.


STM at 5:47 PM

i tend to have a very bad memory.
like sometimes i can forget which key to use for my house door.









but i always got constantly reminded of somethings which i wanted to forget.
it pretty torturing and the thought is occupying all my brain cells now.
i nearly put my words into actions.







2nd week of being 21 is still as bad.
i should have ended it that time.
then 'Jane Peh' will become a history, which i might like it.
so how should i start?


nightmare at 5:32 PM

sleeping had always been my favourite pastime.







but now, i dont dare to fall asleep as nightmare will happen.

it make me breathless, as though i'm going to leave soon
it make me feel tortured, as though millions of knives pierce thru my skin.
it make me cry but no tears can flow.




i cant move on or rest either.


not worthy. at 3:39 PM

i thought if i try harder, everybody will be happy.











but i realise, that's not the fact.








the fact is, they dont even need me at all.


gone at 1:54 AM

i really tried so hard till i'm worn out.

















but i still failed.


bad bad day at 1:54 AM

the crack will still remain there no matter how you tried to mend it.
no point.

just like how mine become so deep over the years.
it will not be perfect anymore.


wake up! at 3:13 PM

stop dreaming, Janey!
no one will fall for you, and even if it happens, the relationship will not work out.

stay focused of your job.
you need to concentrate on your career and move higher.
then you can say BYE and go to that place u yearn for.
you can get lots of moolah and no more worries again.

Remember, no more thinking about of relationships and you can be happy even if you are ALONE.

your 21st birthday wish will not come true.
=)


crap day at 1:29 AM

well..

today was a real bad day.
i always got this whenever i came back from long leave.
total crap.

schedule's up.

alrights..


random at 5:14 PM

heh..

did some changes to my profile, spent time to type all out!

so meeting Shirley later.

and i'm going to start work tml!

alrights..


celebrations of Phrase 2.1 at 1:11 PM

woohoo!


cravings~~!!! at 12:01 AM

oh yes.

for the 1st time i wanted to go back to work.
CRAP.

someone please satisfy my cravings!
BBQ chicken wings please fly here now to Hougang!

i finally finished wrapping my Conan-look-alike(Mr Hao Nan Ren)
heh

ok 3more days to work plus weekly nights.

alrights..


celebrations5 at 1:31 AM

woohoo!

celebrations' finally done.
will do a post on it and another post on my presents.

i can stay at home till Sunday!
YAY~!

=)

alrights..


- at 1:43 AM

sorry but i have to say.

looking thru the photos from 29th October, i had never really 'smile' happily.
FUCK.


Happy 21st, Janey! at 12:22 AM

woohoo!

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO JANEY!

the actual day with Dearies & co.
no pangx2 today, SeeQY joined us.

i've really enjoyed.
=)

the last one tml.
like finally.

alrights..


1st post of twentyone. at 12:00 AM

well..

am officially twentyone now.
the start to freedom as what adults say.

i really hate being 21.
i need to be more responsible for all my actions.
i need to make decision on my own.
i cannot cry and whine like a child anymore.
i cannot go emo so easily.
i dont like to be so legalise for everything.
i hate being labelled as 'adult'

although i maybe laughing and saying 'wo lao le'.
i felt lots of uncertaintly.
for the rest of my 20 years, i had never felt so lost before.
it's like going into another stage of life and i'm scared it will get mudane and stops there.
i seen thru 'adult' life.
mostly worries more than happiness.
and people's wishes to me is getting a boyfriend.
HMM.

i choose to remain as a childult not because i dont want to grow up.
i just hate adult.
adults are just becoming more childish and no life.

ok i shall stop.
maybe being 21 doesnt seem so bad afterall.

anyway, Phrase 2.1 starts now.
i'll do lots of changes.

and that thought will still remain there.

alrights..


twentyone at 11:53 PM

woohoo!

i going to be 21!
ok continue later


back to old self. at 3:44 PM

well..

i feel bad.
this is the punishment for enjoying.
fuck.
shall go back to old Janey.


celebrations4 at 12:20 PM

woohoo!

celebration with 'ANG' family yesterday.
i got the key finally!
=)

and it's TOMORROW!
wo lao le!

alrights..


celebrations3 at 12:34 PM

woohoo!

massive celebration by SGS gang and Judokas!
although some flop happened but i really appreciate everything.
felt guilty toward Judokas. REALLY.

well 3 more celebrations then i'll stay at home for the rest of AL.

alrights..